time is a gypsy caravan, steals away in the night

Post 13 of 90.

This was a long, aimless sort of day. I could not seem to focus. I felt pressed down by a disquieting feeling that forces are in motion out there and that the world is headed in a bad direction.

At work, I swung into action with a new tea mug courtesy of Waste Management from Dayton. At first, I was happy at the expanded capacity of this cup versus my old one. With this cup's first inaugural beverage this morning, I found that I automatically stopped drinking and left an amount in the bottom equivalent to the extra capacity I'd gained over the old mug. With the second cup in the afternoon, I was determined that I would drink it all, but when I hit the "extra" threshold, I just couldn't finish it. I found myself thinking, "Damn! That's too much!"

So maybe more is not always more.

A post-lunch migraine (with auras) left me unable to read or focus on much of anything for about an hour

After work, I remembered that the first volume of The Beatles as Musicians had arrived for me at B&N, so I stopped by to pick it up and have a cappuccino. Afterward, I considered the possibility that I need to cut out the dairy products and the reduce the huge caffeine intake I've developed over the last three years or so.

The wind had a penetrating cold in the evening. Is this the first hint of an arctic blast finally on the way?

Phone call to Don on the way home. Left a message.

In the car, I listened to the new Ray Lamontagne album I picked up the other day.

Back home, I ordered the outboard 500G hard drive I had my eye on and began gathering the financial resources to get the Pro Tools system. We'll see if this laptop has the juice to keep up once I get the software installed.

Later at home, I suddenly had this moment where I felt this little burst of joy rise out of my chest like an expanding bubble. It caught me by surprise not only by the fact that it happened at all, but by my feeling that I either didn't know or had long since forgotten what it felt like.

When I hold this up next to that flash of wild-eyed terror I had in my last musical performance, it makes me wonder if I've been living in some kind of a gray, emotional middle for a while now. Here are the extremes, so what sort of areas do I normally spend most of my time orbiting around in?

While practicing last night, I indeed found that my new kitchen timer helped a great deal in keeping my practice more focused. For once, I didn't go on and on and on with any one exercise and got to touch in depth on several things without going too far. I also got a remarkable amount done in a relatively short amount of time. Mostly right hand stuff, but I made it through several different variations I sometimes otherwise just don't seem to get to.

Lately, I've been carrying around a little notebook to write things down when I get the sudden stray insight about something. I've had times when I have had seemingly important realizations about the unfolding fractal of my life, only to forget completely later on.

I need to get a new watch soon.