my caffeinated grin

Post 36 of 90.

Predictably, it's been a long day.

If my current mental state had a sound, it would be the sound of cymbals frying like bacon under too much mastering compression.

But, I'm not going to bed first thing when I get home. I'm going to tough it out and go to bed at a sensible hour rather than crash and wake up in my clothes at 5 am in the morning. I always hate that feeling, and it happens all too often.

I again find myself frantically scanning through news postings and blogs for some kind of information that will make all the churning storm clouds out there in the world click into a recognizable shape. For a good part of the afternoon yesterday, some kind of angst overcame me where I felt in my churning solar plexus that decisions have been made and the world as we know it is in deep shit. I just suddenly knew it, and I had the urge to run out of the office and stand on the corner by the mall with a sign basically saying, "Repent! The End Is Nigh!!" or some such equivalent. I would not and could not offer a remedy. I could only scream out to the bustling herds, saying, "We're in deep shit and you know it! You may not want to, but you do. I know it, you know it, and we 'little people' can't do anything about it, but could you please at least be honest for once and admit that you see it coming?"

So, in my heart I was ready to take to the streets, but what good would it do? The answer to that question has not crystallized for me yet...

I may need to get an iMac to get this recording system really up to speed. I haven't decided yet, but the above is becoming a factor for me, in the sense that I'm wondering if maybe I should go ahead and spend this money while it's available and while this technology is still available. I may as well fiddle while Rome burns, because music makes life worth living and that's what I would rather be doing.